Old Mother Dix when she wanted to wander,

Flew through the air, and we took a gander.

With teacup in hand, and a fag in the other,

 Aren't we all glad she isn't OUR mother?

Next

Tom, Tom the piper's son, stole a pig

and made a packet on the black market.

Little Miss Muffit sat on her tuffet

Eating her curds and whey.

Then came Boris the spider and sat down beside her,

and asked "What's in tha bowl bint?"