Keep Your Writing Tight!

Okay, I hear you.  "Keep my writing tight?  What does that mean?"  It means that good clear writing is concise and to-the-point.  It is easy to use unneeded words and phrases to "pad" your writing.  We are all guilty of that sometimes.  It is also common for writers (and speakers) to use multi-syllable words when a shorter word would be more easily understood.  The mark of a poor writer is often long involved sentences, a vocabulary that may be obscure, and four to five words where one to three would do as well.

Redundancy (saying the same things more than once)

Don't say things twice!  A word or phrase that repeats something that as just been said, or states something  that is obvious is redundant.  You do not need it in your writing.  For instance, "5 a.m. in the morning"--in the morning is a redundant phrase.  When else is a.m. but in the morning?  Saying "5 a.m." is sufficient.   Other examples:

•  Look at it snow outside!  (Where else would it snow?) 

• The circus tent collapsed on the ground.  (Is there anywhere else?  It can't collapse in mid-air.) 

• I like watching the clouds in the sky.  (That is the only place the clouds are I believe.)

Here are some others:

There are many more of these redundant phrases.  Just check your writing carefully, and ask yourself:  "Did I already say this?"

Find the redundancies, then re-write the sentence:  (Check your sentences in :  Help, aid, and assistance)

2.  Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

3.  It has come to our considered attention that in a large majority of cases, far too many people use a great deal more words than is absolutely necessary when engaged in the practice of writing sentences

4.  They had a complete monopoly on the scamdiddle industry until we merged together and developed some new innovations.  (Note:  Scamdiddle is a nonsense word.)

5.  Lois is absolutely indispensable to the internal, inner workings of the committee of people.  My personal opinion is to keep and retain her in her current, present job and position.

Wordy phrases

Take a hard look at the phrases you use in writing.  Can they be shortened and still keep the meaning?  Can they be replaced with a single word or two?  Be sure that any substitution still leaves the meaning of what you are trying to say.

• Everyone who has ever stopped smoking knows how difficult it is to quit.  

Can be changed to:  Ex-smokers know it is hard to quit.

• As per your request, it is recommended that, inasmuch as you are experiencing a high attrition rate of personnel production units, you provide a more sufficient amount of  monetary remuneration.

Can be changed to:  As you asked, we recommend, since you are losing workers, that you pay them more. 

Even better:  Since you are losing workers, we think you should pay them more.

• Not generally know for his honest and forthright business dealings, the manufacturer was arrested for fraud and criminal negligence.

Can be changed to:  The dishonest manufacturer was arrested for fraud and criminal negligence.

Even better:   The manufacturer was arrested for fraud and criminal negligence. (The sentence says it all, you don't need any other information.)

Identify the unneeded words/phrases and rewrite the sentence:   (Check your sentences in :  Trim the wordy phrases)

1.  A student who is diligent completes assignments faithfully.

2.  In light of the fact that it is almost 12 midnight, you better go to bed.

3.  Durand spend in the neighbor of four hundred dollars for his new suit.

4.  Grandma Gottrocks was in a position to make us all quite wealthy in the very near future. 

5.  On most occasions, CC could depend on a full class over the duration of the evening.

6.  Being of the opinion that meat was too fattening, Earth decided to stop eating it until such time as he lost some weight.

7.  "I am cognizant of the fact that you love my daughter," said Mr. Martinez to Pablo.  "but I am of the opinion that neither of you have a sufficient amount of maturity at this point in time to join in matrimony."

Intensifiers/Qualifiers

Intensifiers are adverbs that modify other adverbs and adjectives, but never verbs. (Also see: Intensifiers)

• Ellie is quite clever.   (clever is an adverb)

• Ellie is quite swimming.   (swimming is a verb)  

Intensifiers generally precede the words they modify.  

• This pasta is extremely dry. (extremely modifies the adverb dry) 

• You cooked it rather long.  (rather modifies the adverb long) 

• I am getting quite thirsty."  (quite modifies thirsty) 

• Kuwait has relatively few thunderstorms."  (relatively modifies the adjective few) 

• Sheila is very happy she passed her exam."  (very modifies the adverb happy)

Exceptions are ago and enough, which usually come after the adjective or adverb they are modifying.   Enough only comes first when it is modifying a noun.

• Did you have enough pie?  

• They had been married long enough to finish each other's sentences. (enough modifies the adverb long) 

Ago follows the noun it modifies.

• Juana's birthday was three months ago.

• The fire burned out about an hour ago.  (ago modifies the adverb phrase about an hour)

Be careful with words like very, really, quite, severely, extremely, completely, definitely, fairly, rather, so, too, etc.   Sometimes these intensifiers do not add anything to your sentence.  Indeed, they can weaken it because overuse of them only seems like exaggeration.  I am not saying to never use them--just be choosy about when you do.

Adjectives can be also be used as qualifiers, but when you use an adjective or an adverb that means the same as the word it is modifying, or one that already implicit in the meaning of the modified word, that is redundant  (true facts, basic essentials, very perfect, a  round circle, close proximity, advance warning, completely unanimous).  Read what you write!  Listen to what you are saying!

Here are some more redundant qualifiers:

Weak expletives 

Expletives are words that have no meaning of their own. The most common are:  there and it. Sentences that start:  "It is quite cold today." or "There is a good restaurant near." are very common, but they add more words than you need to your sentence.  "Today is quite cold."  "A good restaurant is near."  is not only shorter, but more forceful.  You can use these words to begun a sentence.  It is not wrong, just a bit lazy sometimes.  But don't use them too often.  Note:  Do not confuse the expletives there and it with the pronouns there and it.

(In the example sentences, the expletives are underlined, other extra words are in italics.  The second sentence suggests a more concise way to write the first sentence.)

1.  There are several children who were in a position to join the community theatre group.  It is their families who will have to make the final decision however. 

• Several children are eligible to join the community theatre group.   Their families will have to make the decision however.

• A meltdown at the power plant causes power outages are all over town.

• The early bird gets the worm.

Compounded synonyms

Compounds like frank and honest, close and nearby, aches and pains,  loath and detest, etc. are redundant because both words mean the same, or close enough the same that you are giving no new information.  Watch out for combinations like these.

Phrases to leave out of your sentence:

Some phrases might sound good, but they add nothing to the meaning or the clarity of the sentence.  They can signal the reader that an empty, boring text is coming up.   A few are illustrated below:

in my opinion:  "I think that you should never drink beer before a long trip in my opinion."  (Leave it out!  You already said "I think",  Whose else's opinion would you be stating?)

all things considered:  "The economy is in good shape, all things considered."  ( You don't need the phrase, the first part of the sentence says it all.)

as far as I'm concerned:  "As far as I'm concerned, you can get lost!"  (Leave the phrase out--see how much stronger the sentence is?)

for the most part:  "For the most part, her taste is clothes is acceptable."  ( Leave the phrase out, or substitute the word "usually" or "generally")

because of the fact that:  "Morris has improved his English-speaking skills because of the fact that he keeps practicing."  (The sentence is much shorter and clearer without the phrase--use "because" instead.)

for all intents and purposes:  "The time for the movie starts has, for all intents and purposes, passed."  (Leave it out!)

as a matter of fact:   "As a matter of fact, she just left for work."  (Leave the phrase off, it doesn't add anything to the meaning.) 

type of:   "Everyone needs to be careful of the type of things they say in court."  (Only two words, but you don't need them.)

it seems that:   "It seems that the more we learn, the more we discover that we don't know." (Leave the phrase out, it doesn't add a thing to the sentence.)

manner:   "George approached the bear's cave in an anxious manner."  (Drop the "manner" and use the adverb "anxiously" before the verb "approached.")

have a tendency to:   "Some  students have a tendency to write too much when asked for an essay. " (Leave it out for a tighter sentence.)

the point I am trying to make:  "The point I am trying to make is that a good sentence should be concise and clearly understood with no excess words."  (Leave it off for a stronger sentence.)

Some other phrase to keep out of your sentences

in accordance with your request 

it would be advisable to

Note:  In speaking, we often use redundancy.  It might be nice if everyone spoke perfectly all the time--but none of us do.  Redundancy in speech, at least every-day speech, is not necessarily a bad thing (it can be frustrating or boring for your listeners however).  Redundancy in your writing should be avoided!