A Scouser once stole a morning coat from a parked car.  He put it on and went into a posh establishment to hustle a free meal.  The staff all fawned on him, and he received an elaborate meal on the house.  

     In his delight he lifted up his voice and said, "Drinks ed de drom!", but then every one knew him, and the maitre 'de came up and gave him a sound cudgelling for impersonating a toff.  

     Shortly afterwards a bobbie came up to him and said: "'Ello, 'ello, what 'ave we 'ere then?"

 Fancy clothes do not a toff make.