Neeo dix wes canny busy an' havin a baal,

Wi' presents an' lists an' shoutin at aaal.

The elves weor on strike, the reindeor weor spooked--

The Crimbo trees bare an' the scran overcooked.

An' with Santa see poorly an' weak as a bairn,

Whe cud myek the night's trip an' be back in the morn?

Ah gan be Santa, dix said wi' a class roar.

Wi' the syeut an' the dut, nee yen will knar that it's wor.

Hor eyes weor aaal beady, hor chin wes aaal hairy,

Hor cheeks weor like leathor, hor sneck like a cherry!

Hor droll wee myeuth wes drawn up in a sneor,

An' yen lang hair iv hor chin wes as white as the snoor.

A filthy aad tab wes held in hor teeth,

An' the reek it put yeut wes withyeut belief.

She weighed twenty-two stane, an' hor dump wes see roond,

The reindeor cud hardly git off iv the groond

She yelled at the lasses an' corsed at the lads,

Kept aaal the geet presents an' gev yeut the bads.